Photo credit: flickr.com/photos/courtneycarmodyphotography
The last Girls Club event was at Trunk on Sunday 7 June. What a turnout!
The Theme: Self Love
We wanted to talk about self-love, self-esteem and self-worth. But these can be tricky topics to discuss publicly, so we put together a worksheet for the event, and read through it first.
The worksheet has exercises for internal & external influences on Self Love. We also set a tiny piece of homework.
Self Love – Internal Influences
Photo credit: flickr.com/photos/laurenlionheart
Affirmations can be strange and dorky, but they can also help your subconscious to battle (and hopefully win) wars on your behalf.
Start by selecting some affirmations that you would love to believe about yourself, but when you say them, negative thoughts immediately come to mind. For example, “I am smart and confident.” Or, “I am a brilliant writer.” Or, “People appreciate being my friend & having me in their life.”
For one week, write these affirmations every day. For extra therapeutic power, also write down the negative thoughts that spring to mind, when you write the affirmations. “Nobody really likes me. They just use me.” Then write the affirmations again, and embellish them to deal with your negative thoughts. “There are people, wonderful people, who appreciate being my friend & having me in my life, and they appreciate me for who I am.”
2. Me Dates
We believe a big part of self-love is learning how to be best friends with Me.
Just say you really wanted to see the new Star Trek movie. You know who else wants to see the new Star Trek movie? You do! So take yourself to the movies!
“Me Dates” are all about making time to share your favourite interests and experiences with yourself. Block out Thursday night, and read a book in the bath. Block out Sunday morning, and go shopping for new stationery. Enjoy your Self.
3. My PR
Photo credit: flickr.com/photos/kk
We think it’s hard for females to feel comfortable promoting themselves. (More on this in October, with the “Lean In” book!) So this can be a good exercise at giving yourself a chance.
instead of being redonkulously humble (or avoiding the topic of “who I am” altogether), let’s pretend we are publicists, hired to promote ourselves.
Ideally, what do you want to be known as? Smart, earnest, comedian, silly, writer, developer, lawyer, artist, hippie?
Now, what would you recommend to someone else, if that was their goal? Where would you tell them to start?
4. Other Ideas
We briefly touched on other ideas. For issues with self-appearance, avoiding mirrors for a month can be good. And to celebrate our self-value, we can try a “Done” Bucket List. See the worksheet for details.
Self Love – External Influences
1. Negative Influences
Every so often, take stock of anyone & anything that you find negative. Then, plan how to deal with it. More details in the worksheet.
2. Envy Notes
The wisdom goes: If you envy someone, you should examine the envy, because it’s likely something that you should try.
If you envy how someone else is really confident, or organised, or popular – analyse the decisions they make, what they might be thinking, why they choose to do things that way, and how they go about it – and see if it gives you some insight into what you could try.
3. Positive People
Note the people who are most often in your life, then highlight people who are really positive.
4. Other Ideas
We only had one “other” idea for external influences: a Compliments Notebook. Have a notebook (or Evernote/Notes.app note, or a daily email to yourself, or whatever takes your fancy!) at the ready, and create keepsakes for any compliments that you receive.
The next time you feel like beating yourself up, read through the compliments. You mightn’t recognise your self-worth, but other people do.
We asked everyone to pick 2 items from the Homework list, and try to do them in June. We would love it if people could share their experiences in the discussion group.
Our next event is on Sunday 7 July, and the topic is My Future, Part 1. We’ll send out more information soon, but it will be about looking at the “big picture” of what you want.
- JUL – My Future, Part 1
- AUG – Behind the Scenes
- SEP – Role Models & Girl Love
- OCT – “Lean In” book
- NOV – My Future, Part 2
- DEC-FEB – [Closed] But we will have summer drinks, “The Girls Club Social!”